THINGS THAT I WOULD LOVE TO PUT INTO ROOM 101 AND NEVER ALLOW OUT EVER AGAIN.

1. FOOTBALL

They should turn all football stadiums into multi-storey carparks, thus relieving the parking problems in our major towns and cities. Football causes hatred, congestion and neanderthol behaviour.

2. MINI-ROUNDABOUTS

They are pointless and dangerous. I especially hate those in Colchester. What moron designed a series of mini-roundabouts around one big roundabout? It's like a free for all, cars coming at you from all directions!

3. WOMEN IN FLAT SHOES

Especially when wearing dresses. They look frumpy and lack poise and elegance.

4. LORRY DRIVERS

Their favourite pastime is overtaking each other at 0.1 mile an hour faster than the other. They ruin our roads, many are on our roads illegally, they are environmentally unfriendly and are responsible for more deaths and serious injuries than any other road vehicle. 40% are foreign lorry drivers who flout our laws openly.

5. BLACK BEETLES

I don't mind any living creature in the whole world (even Rob) but not black beetles. They serve no useful purpose and are not attractive or interesting to look at.

6. ESCARGOT

Who was the first person who decided to try eating a snail? With all the animals on this earth, why would you want to eat a snail?

7. RAP & PUNK MUSIC

Music???? Better known as Rap Crap & Punk Junk. This is basically 'music' for those who can't sing or play music.

8. WAR MOVIES

I don't find war movies entertaining. There are far too many wars going on every day in reality, we don't need to glorify it and label it as entertainment.

9. BIG BROTHER

It is more interesting to watch paint dry
than to watch this most mundane of programs. Instead of watching other people living their lives, those who watch it should get out and live a life.

10. BAD MANNERS

This includes impoliteness, courseness and loudness. Morals and etiquette seem no longer to be taught to youngsters with horrid consequences.

11. DISABLED PARKING SPACES

Why are they free, when some have more money than most of the rest of us put together? Why are they issued to disabled people whose disabilities are not related to mobility? Why are they disproportionately allocated in carparks when most are left empty? Or taken up illegally? Why are they allowed to park on double yellow lines if it is supposedly dangerous to do so?

12. JOBS WORTH SECURIY GUARDS

Who won't let you take pictures of buildings which they are guarding. What threat is a photographer? They only challenge those with SLR cameras and never those using their mobile phones. I have been challenged in Shopping centres, outside factories, Office Blocks and even in a Travelodge carpark. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS HAS GONE MAD. See some of the stories below to see how daft it has become.

13. UNSOLICITED JUNKMAIL

Why do they insist on putting junk mail inside newspapers and bombard your doormat with leaflets which go straight in the bin. You wouldn't dream of littering someone's garden, so  why are they allowed to put this rubbish through people's doors.

14. PRINCESS DIANA

She was a manipulative Gold Digger who shagged practically anything in trousers. She was certainly no saint (ask a few of those wives whose husband's she had affairs with!) Why has the British Press got such a fascination for her?

15. THE ROYAL PHOTOGRAPHIC SOCIETY.

 Full of self important twits with 'Old Boys Club' mentality. The Society is a money making enterprise and Photography is of little importance in itself. It's more a matter of who you know and not what you know too, when achieving the overrated distinctions of which you continue to pay for, year in year out. And nobody should challenge them or photography itself.

16. THE FRENCH.

Apologies in advance to any genial, helpful or even sane French person, (but to date I am yet to find one). I have found them all to be spineless and arrogant in the extreme. They purposefully go out of their way to be as obnoxious as possible. What have they achieved as a Nation? The Citroen Diane (the ugliest car ever). A Footballer (Cantana) who preferred kicking fans rather than footballs. Foods such as Frogs Legs, Escargot and Fois Gras. The only role that the French army have in the Iraqi war is to show the opposition how to surrender. The Beret, what is that all about? It doesn't keep your head warm and looks utterly stupid. The French Language, where everything is male or female. Tables, chairs, coats, soap, etc., (not that the French know what that is used for). No wonder the French slur their words, they don't know themselves what the hell they are talking about.

17. KINKY the cat. He has misbehaved just once too often. Spraying on the furniture (despite having had his powder puffs removed) weeing on the bed whilst I'm in it! & constantly meowing.

18. CHILDREN. I really don't like them. Recently kids have been pushing over statues in my garden, smashing garden lights and flowerpots, tipping over water features and stealing parcels from my doorstep. I know these are teenage kids but the younger variety aren't much better. Whinging, screaming brats running around restaurants and pubs when your'e trying to have a civilised conversation with friends or a romantic dinner for two. So if your'e thinking of having some, DON'T.

19. STUART CRISP - MANAGER OF SOLAR BOWL IPSWICH. A extremely rude, vulger man who lies through his teeth. A prejudiced nasty piece of work.

20. PUBLIC TOILETS - Well those that have signposts directing you to them for two miles and when you eventually arrive (cross legged), you find that they are locked up. Reasons:- It's not the right time of day, not the right time of year or just not the right time fullstop without any sort of explanation or alternative!

21. FARMERS - They get subsidized for the food they produce, they also get money in order NOT to grow produce. They are always moaning about the weather, it's too hot, too cold, too dry, too wet. Always claiming proverty but have you ever seen a poor farmer?

22. PAINTED CYCLE LANES and other pointless road markings. Cycle lanes that just start and stop willy nilly are a particular irritant. They are useless to both cyclists and motorists. Temporary no parking cones, put out only when people need to park. Such as special events attracting people to that area but then not wanting them to stop to see the event???

23. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS. Children not being allowed to throw snowballs or play conkers in case they get injured. Not being allowed to send birthday cards in fear of being sued for ageism, or Valentine cards for fear of sexual harrassment. Banning photography in our streets for fear of terrorism (? exploding cameras perhaps?)  Jokes about religion, foreigners, women....the list goes on.  Banning Christmas decorations and Nativity plays in fear of upsetting non-Christians. And its been rumoured that the Red Arrows won't be doing a flyby at the opening of the Olympic Games in London because its too British!!!  Let's hope that is just a rumour.